Complaining

You know I was just thinking about this and decided to post about it.

Why do people complain? I mean even over things that dont even affect them much. I thought about it and decided people are just carnal like the bible says! I am one of them also. I catch myself complaining if I am asked to do something or if it affects my normal everyday life. I mean why dont I do it? I dont know yet either but I think it is cause of habit.

Habit is a good and bad thing. I mean you can force yourself into one habit which is good and it makes it easier on you to do it. On the other hand you are born into a world full of sinful things and are taught it from the youth! I mean that is just torture. You grow up seeing all this sin and learning it and taught not to do it in one hand and to accept it in another. Well atleast the world accepts it but you cant fall into that. I have been taught to swim against the tide!

I mean I know Jesus went through so much more and stuff but, I will tell you what! I dont feel like I have it easy most of the time. I feel like what is the point of humans living like they do? Why do you go in debt? Why do you want stuff that isnt important? I know I have so much stuff and I am considered poor. Well I dont really feel poor. OK I am going all over the place here so I better quit! lol My focus is just wondering to much so I will finish this off another day.

Opposite test

The opposite of the other test! Feel free to put the truth as to what you know of me!
http://kevan.org/nohari?name=Eric+Olson

View results:
http://kevan.org/nohari?view=Eric+Olson

:D have fun

Where O Where the thoughts are?

I don't know but Man I seem to slip in thought every time I am thinking about God! Which isn't very good cause I do appreciate spending the time trying to learn and get closer to God. My mind always wonder to the subject of GIRLS! Not necessarily a bad thing but shouldn't be on God's time.

I mean it keeps popping up as I wonder if I will ever get married. Maybe God has a different plan for me. (which I don't know if I would want but I would have to take) I mean Women are awesome. You help me to calm my nerves and they are willing to almost always talk with you. I think I am going to need that one day considering I am very needy person of people. They also help stray my little mind back to God. I mean they help and don't even know what they did I would think.

I just think I would enjoy the comforts of a women more then being alone my whole life! I just decided to post this cause it has been on my mind and I am getting it out. I mean "what if" I am that person God thinks doesn't need a women? I don't know what I would do. Matter of fact what if the women think I am not the person? I mean I know I am not really ready to get married anytime within the next few years but after I am sure I will be good. Also one of my problems I think is that I am fat! Oh how I hate it!

I have been fat since well I did lose it at one point but for about 10 years I would think. Well minus one year in there. The thing with that I find it hard to consistently focus on losing it by myself. I have done it before but that was with the only thing I enjoy doing alone that was exercise. (Basketball) That lasted one year till some guy pulled out a gun on the court and they took down the hoops after. (which let me tell you didn't help my losing process) But I think that will change again cause they decided that they are putting them back up this year. YAY maybe I will lose most of it again:) Actually I have lost 20 pounds in the past few weeks and I cant tell a thing.

Now the other thing is I don't have a steady Job yet! I have had 7 Jobs in my life not counting working for my dad from like 10yrs old to 19yrs old. I quit the first 3 which I looked back on and found out I was doing it all wrong. I decided from there on that I would never quit another job (well not the way I did before just drop everything and leave) I have had 4 since and well lets just say I have been laid off of 3 and fired from the other. :( I was hoping I had a steady job from one of them. So much for that lol.

Oh well as long as I get one soon then it really doesn't matter. Anyways I just needed to type and that is what came out lol. I don't know what I am thinking half the time:P

Passover

I am so glad it is Passover tonight! I am sick of all these things that keep coming up right before Passover. Plus I dont know about you guys but I do some really good thinking around this time. Seems your mind just clears for this brief moment just to absorb all information/knowledge.

I feel like I am relieved of a burden which is ironic I guess since truthfully you are by Christ sacrifice. Man just to reallize what was done for you! You know truthfully I dont always think about it like I should and sometimes it just doesnt affect me the it should. I mean how can you really understand if you havent even remotely went through anything like that? In the past I never cleaned very thoroughly which symbolizes that I was not truely willing to examine myself enough to remove them hidden sins!

This year I cleaned out everything that needed to be clean. (so happy that is over with) lol Just think about when you remove the sin how happy you will be after you think on all the work it took to remove it from your life. It is great to see the results after. Man all these Holy days are awesome for what they stand for. God sure knows what we need in order to keep in shape for his Kingdom.

Well I will quit going on about this now. :P

Why

Here is another thing I have been thinking of. You know the word why? Of course you do it is such a beautiful word. Yet most people seem to get mad when you use the word. For example: everything I have asked why to, to figure out what the reason behind them using that method just gets them upset and they start to not like you as much.

Why would people do this? I think it is cause they feel you are questioning their method as to if it is right or not. You know the thing is that so what if someone questions it. What if there is a better way but your to stubborn to change. Even if there isn't a better way what is wrong with explaining why you do it a certain way?

I think why is one of the best words there is. Makes you think about why you do something. Also when someone ask why I like it cause it means they are willing to understand why you do something that way. If you don't know why you do it that way then maybe you should question yourself why you do it that way.

The other thing is people don't always make their selves clear when explaining why which leaves confusion. Maybe one of the things we should be working on is to be clearer so that we may teach people in the Kingdom. I mean I have to work on this myself. I need to focus on this stuff everyday and make it become an everyday habit.

Driving Yourself

Here is one thing I need that I need to focus on in my life. I just realized this yesterday. I have never wanted something so bad I would give up everything for it. So I have decided to start to exercise this in my daily life.

I am going to play my brother in basketball everyday. Now he wins everything and I think it is not just the fact he has more skill. He wants the game more than I do since he doesn't want to lose to his younger brother.. Well I have decided to start my exercise here by making it my goal to beat him and not to give up or stop until I do. (even if it is 20-30 years down the road LOL)

I realize that I am lukewarm without this. One way or another I don't care because I don't want it enough to be hot about it. So many things to work on and so little time. What do you do? I cant take on all at once but I cant sit around and do one at a time cause it is killing me to do just that.

More Thoughts

So what is knowledge? What knowledge do we seek? I am not sure, I think it to be what the bible teaches. If that is the case then I have some but I do not use it properly so I must be one of the most idiotic people alive! How could you go through life believing and not doing everything it says? That is just hypocritical! Therefore I must be a hypocrite.

How do I force myself to do what is right? I cant seem to will myself to do it cause it hasn't happened yet? I ask God for help but I am not seeing results. Maybe I am blind and don't see it? Maybe God is waiting for a better time. Or maybe God doesn't think I need it. (I sure hope that isn't the case) I am lost? Confusion is all that is boiling in my brain today!

Also along with knowledge I need understanding! I think I have understanding of most things but I still question myself. So is that really understanding if you question stuff? Cause that just means you still need answers to come to understanding. I believe in time I will probably find out most of what I want to know but why am I left in limbo for this long? Maybe all these questions are good. Hopefully they will fuel my burning need for God, knowledge and understanding.

Maybe I can become more Zealous. Maybe if I keep my mind on it by writing about it like this will help. What is it I really want? I am not exactly for certain on anything other then getting closer to God and yet I just cant focus.

My Thoughts

Going through life, experiencing for yourself what is needed to learn what you must.

I don't know but I think I need to change but it is so hard to get myself started on anything! How can I get things started when I cant concentrate on something for a long period of time. I change thoughts so often I cant remember half the things I was just thinking about. Only thing I have been able to focus on is music but that isn't going to get me anywhere in life.

Even on things I have focused on I have lost interest after about 3 months. I think I have even lost focus on reading the bible. I find myself reading the bible everyday but I cant seem to remember anything I read anymore. I just don't understand what my problem is! I feel myself doing horrible praying. (I think my brain only works half the time) I know I should spend more time reading and praying but this just isn't right!

How am I going to get closer to God if I cant focus? I am to be zealous but I am not. What am I? Pathetic! Why does my mind wonder so much? I mean it isn't like I go out and do a lot of bad things. I don't know but I need to hurry and find a way out or my life may be in danger? I find myself doing stuff that isn't important but I also think why are other things so important? What is important? Why is it Important? Why is it someone else has decided what is important?

How come I can think something is so important and not do it? I mean I thought it was important but how could it be if I cant focus on it or I am not always wanting to do it? So I say to myself what is important? I thought it was but why? Am I fooling myself?

I guess it will just take time to figure it out! :D